Steve Patterson
'Twas the Night Before the Election

'Twas the Night Before the Election

Twas the night before election, two-thousand fifteen
And all we knew for sure was, it wouldn’t be Green;
The polls were suggesting that Liberals were first;
But they were just guessing (those polls are the worst)
The voters were restless, they turned in their beds,
Except the 3 million of us who voted early instead
The question was simple, do we want change or not?
Those who didn’t like Harper didn’t like him a LOT
When out in the news there arose a fresh scandal!
Trudeau’s co-campaign chair, would have to be handled
He had offered assistance to those who would lobby
Perhaps proof that the Liberals were back to old hobbies?
Then Justin sat down with his old buddy Dan
Who resigned at once, since he’s a “good-bad-man”
But it did give hope to the old NDP
Who harkened back to old Liberal SOB’s
Now many are calling for a “strategic vote”
Anything that makes Harper’s chance more remote
But voting for a party you don’t truly support
Is like pretending you’re tall when really you’re short
So who’s going to win? Which leader will prevail?,
And what about those other great campaign fails?
Like the cranky old man, whose Conservative wit
Was to call all reporters “lying pieces of…stuff”
And lest we forget, good old Jerry Bance
The dishwasher repairman who couldn’t keep it in his pants
Though it wasn’t a sex scandal that made him give up
He “just urinated” into a client’s coffee cup
There were other bad gaffes on You Tube and such
Which proved that nowadays, you can’t hide much
And if you lose face, with an unexpected jab
You had better not conceal that face with niqab


“So Stephen! And Justin! And less angry Tom!
And you too Elizabeth, yes you, come along!
It is finally time, after eleven long weeks
We listened to you all, now it’s OUR turn to speak!


While 3 parties battle on the left side for change
1 waits on the right and hopes things stay the same
What side are you on? How will you explain?
By voting of course! Then you’re allowed to complain.

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