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Award-Winning Comedian & Humour Writer

CANADA DAY 150

June 30th, 2017

 

Dear Canada,Sasquatch

150 years old eh? Wow! You don’t look it.

You must have had some work done. I think they call it “infrastructure spending”?

In any case, happy “Sasquatch centennial” where we celebrate 150 years of only seeing a Sasquatch in one photo.

Granted, the most awe-inspiring parts of you have been around a LOT longer than 150 years. The majestic mountains, the fabulous but not INFINITE fresh water and of course…Don Cherry.

Screen Shot 2017-06-29 at 9.56.10 AMAnd we must always remember our First Nations family who cared for this land long before our French and English Confederation forefathers formed an agreement that probably would have been a lot more agreeable if our foremothers had been invited to the bargaining table.

We are far from perfect Canada. There have been some terrible wrongs in our past. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have amazing RIGHTS in our future.

And that is what Canada is about: the RIGHT to move forward together and do RIGHT by each other. The RIGHT to remain NON-silent. To share ideas, put them into action and help continue to shape a country that is aiming to be much greater than “great”. Because let’s face it, the word “great” isn’t even good anymore.

So I salute you Canada on your 150 years and thank our Indigenous stewards of the land for preserving you for the past 12,000 years. When put in that context you look absolutely amazing! Like a cross between Ryan Reynolds and Ryan Gosling if those 2 could have a baby. AND WHO SAYS THEY CAN’T? With the joie de vivre of Celine Dion and the powerful presence of Buffy Ste. Marie. And boy or girl I think we all know we’d name that baby “Gord”.

Yours truly,

Steve Patterson

Very proud Canadian who really wants to meet a real Sasquatch.


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